All of the above symptoms point directly at a flat battery. Even though it may show 12v idle, but the minute the car tries drawing power to start, id bet it goes down below 8v.
The licking noises is the relays in the fuse compartment switching on and off because theres not enough voltage to keep them alive/engaged.
Try a set of jumper leads, or better still put the battery on charge for a few hours. Failing that it sounds like a dead battery killed by the sudden change in temperature.
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